


Not A Day Goes By

by LadyKayl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Sad, Torture, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-03-24 02:44:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13801719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKayl/pseuds/LadyKayl
Summary: Imagine finding out Gabriel is alive





	1. Chapter 1

The days all melded into one since that fateful night in the damned hotel; the night where everything changed. Gabriel told Sam and Dean to get you out of Elysian Fields hotel and true to their word they had gotten you out the there, literally kicking and screaming.

  
You’d managed to break Dean’s grip on you with a swift elbow to the groin, something he hadn’t forgiven you for to this day. You’d ran back into the building so quickly that even Sam hadn’t been able to catch you, but it was too late; he was gone.

  
You’d rounded the corner and skidded to a halt at the sight before you. There he lay motionless, the imprints of his wings around him. You kept waiting for him to fade before you and for it all to be another lie; but it wasn’t. You walked up to his body, the tears streaming down your face. You fell to your knees before him and threw yourself onto his chest. You sobbed uncontrollably as you gripped the material of his jacket. He was gone, and where he’d gone you could never follow.

You don’t remember how you got from the hotel, all you remember is being pulled away from Gabriel and carried away. Not a single day has passed since that day where you don’t think about Gabe, you loved him. The Winchester’s never approved but you were drawn to him in a way you couldn’t explain; life without him had been one battle after another.

You fight to get out of bed, you fight to get yourself to eat and you fight to remember to breath. You threw yourself into hunting with the boys and made a silent promise to the memory of your Gabriel that you were going to dedicate your life to ridding the world of as many big bad’s as you could.

***

You shook your head at the memory of that night and focus on getting back to the bunker in one piece. The boys had sent you and a simple salt and burn once state over, while they went on a vamp hunt. The ghost had been surprisingly easy to take care of and you were finished in record time and made it back on within the day.

You turned the final corner and saw the impala sitting in front of the bunker, you frowned in confusion. They couldn’t have made it home already, the nest was twice the distance away that you’d traveled. You parked your car behind baby and made your way into the bunker.

“Sam? Dean?” you called out, you voice echoing off the walls around you.

  
You heard the clambering and chairs and the unmistakable tones of a certain blue eyed angel coming from the library.

  
“I don’t understand, why do I need to hide?” you from at Cas’ words and speed up, what was going on?

You go to turn the corner and come face to face…well face to chest with the Winchester’s who were blocking your path to the library.

“What are you doing back?” Dean snapped causing you to raise an eyebrow

“I finished, with no fuss I might add, maybe I should go on solo hunts more often. I come out with less injuries. What are you doing here and why does Cas need to hide?” you ask folding your arms defiantly holding your chin high

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, which was a tell of his. It meant he was thinking of a convincing lie. You rolled your eyes and side stepped to make your way around him, but

Dean was faster and blocked your way again. Anger grew in your chest and you squared up to your friend

“Listen to me Winchester, I don’t like secrets. Now you either move out of my way or I will move you” you growled “ and don’t think for a second that I can’t or won’t I’ve brought you to your knees on more than one occasion”

Dean visibly grimaces at the memories but still refuses to move, until Cas speaks from behind him.

“You can’t stop her Dean”

“The hell I can’t”

You see red and go to remove the elder brother from your way when Sam finally speaks up, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Y/n, maybe Dean’s right. Just give us time to find out what’s happened and then maybe….” You shrug him off and make to turn away, causing them both to visibly relax. You sense your moment and double back, making your way past them and to Cas before they could react.

“Damn it Y/n just stop”

“You’re getting slow in your old age boys” you tease

“What’s in there we cant explain…” you ignore Dean and look at Castiel. The look in your friend’s eye makes you feel and ease and you know whatever you’re about to see isn’t going to hurt you.

You turn the corner and see a male figure sitting on the floor with his arms around his knees and head down, his clothes dirty with dried blood stains. He was bare foot and his hair matted. You frown and look back to see the trio by the door.

“Y/n’s here now….” Castiel spoke quietly before adding “…brother” your eyes widened at his words and your head snapped back to the broken man behind you.

You watched as his head raised and slowly the light hit his face. The air rushed from your lungs and you stumbled back as you finally see who it is that the brother’s had tried to keep you from seeing.

“Gabriel….?”


	2. Chapter 2

Your eyes searches his face, it was bloody and beaten. But it was his lips that broke you most of all, they had been sewn shut.

“Cas his mouth….” Your voice cracked as you spoke

“He wouldn’t let me touch it Y/n” you nodded and took a step towards the man you loved, but when he flinched you stopped dead.

“Gabriel what happened to you?” you whispered more to yourself than to him, you’d never seen him so broken.

“He was in hell Y/n, that’s where he was found” Sam spoke softly from behind you.

Hell? Had he been there all this time? Dean had been in hell for four months and to him it had been forty years….if Gabriel had been in hell this entire time…that must be almost one thousand years. Your heart shattered, what had they done to him?

Did he think he was still in Hell? Did he think this was all a trick? Did he even know who you were? The very though that he didn’t remember you or that he had no memory of the life you shared, your love for one another caused you very soul to ache.

“Gabriel?” his eyes that were unfocused and empty settled on yours, their usual rich amber colour seemed lifeless and cold

“Gabriel do you remember me?” you asked sweetly shrugging off your thick, bulky jacket, trying to make yourself seem smaller and less of a threat. Showing him that you had no weapons and you weren’t going to hurt him.

He couldn’t speak but he made no indication that he understood you or that he did recognize you in anyway.

“I’m Y/n remember?” you say breathlessly, you swallow the lump that had formed in your throat and continue.

“Remember the first time we met?” your lip twitching with a smirk at the memory that fills your mind “at the college?” you take a cautions step forward and this time he didn’t flinch

“Remember when the boys tricked you with that fake argument and Sam, Bobby and I snuck into the theatre?” another small step with no reaction.

“Remember you made that guy with the chainsaw appear and attack Sam and Bobby?”

Step.

“Remember when I ran down the stairs to help Dean fight those two women you dreamed up, that were kicking the shit out of him?” you could almost feel the bitchface that Dean was throwing behind you.

Step.

“Remember when you froze me on the spot next to you and when the blonde went to attack me you stopped her?”

Step. You were getting close now and he suddenly noticed, panic grew over his face.

“Hey it’s ok, I’m not going to hurt you Gabriel, I'd never hurt you” you promise trying to calm him, letting him settle back down before continuing.

“Remember after Dean stabbed you? How I came back early the next morning? I made up some bullshit excuse that I needed to go see a friend near by and I took Bobby's car and drove to the college and I walked those halls again, because I knew it was too easy”

You didn’t move again, you were close enough to see him clearly now. The damage they had done to him. The fear on his face.

“Remember when I found you? Or rather when you found me?” you smiled “you said ‘I knew you were the smart one’” you laughed as a tear fell from you eye and trail its way down you cheek.

“Remember when you told me your name?” you all but whispered, but you knew he heard you. “You’d basically told me who you were and I never realised till all that time later, so much for smart huh?” you watch as he releases his hold on his legs, his demeanour changing.

“Remember when I didn’t tell the boys you were still alive?” you could feel the disapproval radiating off the Winchester's but that would be a conversation for another day. “Because even back then, when I barely knew you I couldn't stand the thought of anyone hurting you”

Gabriel looked at you but you could see him processing your words, trying to figure out if this was some kind of trick.

“I'd never hurt you Gabe” his eyes snapped up....Gabe....does no one else called him that? Was that just you? You tried again, this time added another thing you’d only ever said to him

“Gabe, it’s me. It’s really me, I swear. With all my heart” your voice broke as you recalled the time you’d sworn to him with all of your heart, something you’d learnt from your parents. Something you only ever shared with him.

Gabe frowned slightly eyeing you cautiously as he raised his hand. You heard the brothers’ shift behind you fearing he’d lash out, but you raised your hand over your shoulder telling them to stop.

Once he was happy that the brothers had stopped Gabe reached further until his hand was reaching for yours. You took a breath and steadied your nerves, you’d be touching him for the first time in eight years, and your heart could barely contain itself. You raised your own hand slowly; you stopped just shy of making contact leaving that to him when he was comfortable.

You could see his chest pant as if he had to psych himself up to the seemingly small, simple task. You closed your eyes and let the tears fall as you waited. Time passed so slowly you thought he’d pulled away, when suddenly you felt the warmth of skin grab you hand and everything in the world seemed to have meaning again.

You opened your eyes to see Gabriel’s go wide with shock, you were real; all it took was one touch and he knew. You watched as he shifted slowly onto his knees, he pulled you closer using your hand before releasing it and embracing you. He was still kneeling on the floor; his head buried itself into your stomach and his arms clinging around your hips as though you'd disappear if he let you go.

You slowly let your arms wrap around him, your breath stuttered as you ran your finger through his hair; scraping your finger over his scalp soothingly.  He was back. He was back with you. He was home.


	3. Chapter 3

##  **Not A Day Goes By - Part 3**

**hey guys here’s part 3 :)**

**Warnings - none i think.....let me know if you spot something that needs a warning**

 

You don’t know how long you both stood there lost in your own little world. It was Cas clearing his throat that brought you back into reality. Gabriel stiffened in your arms, you hushed him lightly.

“Y/n, he’s very weak. He’ll need to rest and allow his grace to build once more” you frowned to yourself.

“His grace?” you glanced over your shoulder towards Castiel fleetingly before returning your attention back to Gabriel

“He was weakened Y/n, his grace almost complete depleted” tears fill your eyes at the very thought of what had happened to him in hell.

You dropped to your knees and slowly brought your hands to his face, lightly caressing it with your thumbs.

“Lets get you somewhere more comfortable yeah?” you smile calmly at him, trying to keep him at ease.

The next few hours were long, you and Cas were the only ones he’d let near him. You cleaned to blood from him best you could without putting him under a shower. Baby steps after all. You managed to get in into some clean clothes and treat the obvious wounds.

Treating his mouth was the issue, you tried to explain that you needed to cut whatever those bastards had used to sew his mouth shut. But your words didn’t quite get through. As soon as he saw the scissors he clambered back on the bed terrified.

You threw the scissors across the room as far away from the two of you as you could get them.

“Ok, they’re gone. See?” you held up your hands showing him they were empty. He calmed a little.

“I just want to cut open your mouth Gabe, that’s all” you held you fingers to your lips trying to get him to understand. You heart broke, here sat one of heavens greatest weapons and he was broken.

He raised his own hand to his lips and ran them over the stitching, you nodded smiling slightly.

“Sam, go into my desk draw and you’ll see a silver nail kit. Would you bring it here please?”

Sam did as you asked, he passed the kit to Cas who in turn gave it to you. you slowly unzipped the silver leather case and pulled out a pair of nail trimmers shaped like scissors but blunt at the edge.

“how about these?” you put the cutters down on the bed allowing him look at them.

He reached out and touched them, turning them over in his hands until he was happy you were going to hurt him with them. You just hopped they would be sharp enough to cut through the thread used.

Thankfully they were, it was a long torturous process, not only did you have to cut the thread between his lips, you then had to pull it out. You hated causing him pain, but he sat there and let you do it never the less.

After cleaning him up, he fell asleep relatively easily. The next few days involved getting him into the shower to clean his hair and the remaining grime from his body, it took a few attempts but you’d finally gotten the blood off of him. Cas began slowly healing his wounds but it was going to be a long process.

It was a week after he returned that things took a turn for the worse, Gabriel had a nightmare. You’d been sleeping curled in in a chair next to his bed, so you could be there if he needed you. this unfortunately meant you were also the closest person to him physically.

You tired to hush him as he thrashed on the bed, you flicked on the light and sat next to him on the bed.

“Gabe, its ok you’re safe. Wake up”

His eyes snapped open and he lunged you, his hands grabbing your neck cutting off your air supply. You tried to fight him but even in his weakened state the archangel was too strong. You kicked and knocked over the lamp hoping to make enough noise that the boys would come looking but you weren’t so lucky.

You felt your vision begin to fade and sent out a silent prayer to Castiel. Luckily he answered immediately pulling Gabriel off of you. you fell to the floor coughing, trying to pull oxygen into your lungs.

You looked up from the floor to see Gabe looking down at you in horror. He shook his head, his eyes filled with guilt.

“Its ok” you forced from your lips, your throat burning in pain. You tried to reach for him but he pulled away curling himself into a ball. Much like he was that first night. You dropped your head in defeat, you were back at square one.

~~to be Continued?~~


	4. Chapter 4

Little did you realise that after that night that he attacked you, you were much worse off than simply back at square one.

He didn’t do anything. It was like he was locked inside himself. He’d make no acknowledgement of his brother when he healed him, of the Winchester’s when they tried to tease him or of you when you sat beside him.

You never left him though, for weeks you’d sit just talking to him. You’d be close to tears as you retold all of your memories together over and over, hoping that one of them would spark some kind of response.

But you never did, you began reading to him, humming songs the two of you had danced to in the middle of the night all those years ago. But nothing ever worked, it was like you’d lost him all over again.

He was right here in front  of you, you could reach out and touch him but he wasn’t there. Maybe your Gabe was gone for good.

You even found yourself praying to Chuck sometimes, not that it helped you doubt he’d listen either way but you so wanted to help your angel.

Days turned into weeks and the boys would come and go on cases, you felt guilty for not helping them but you couldn’t leave him. Your heart wouldn’t let you. Cas was always near by, just a prayer away.

You were bored one day and began singing a song to yourself while you folded some laundry. An old country song you’d heard years ago that had felt very poignant lately. You looked over at the angel lying with his back to you.

**_“Not a day goes by that I don't think of you_ **

**_After all this time you're still with me it's true_ **

**_Somehow you remain locked so deep inside_ **

**_Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by”_ **

You ran your fingers through Gabe’s hair as you sang the last line, a stray tear falling from your left eye. You wiped it away quickly, gathering you clean clothes and moving to put them away in your room across the hall.

Little did you know that when you sang, tears filled the archangels eyes; and that when your tear fell, so did his.

It was a week later that you got a call from a hunter friend of yours looking for someone to take on a vamp nest a few towns away. He had a haunting to take care of and could manage both. The nest was growing and was targeting young girls. You sighed deeply knowing you couldn’t leave it.

You packed your bags whilst explaining to Cas where you’d be and how long you’d be gone. He begged you not to go, that you weren’t ready and to wait for Sam and Dean. You knew he was right, you'd been out of the game for months but that would cost more lives and your conscious wouldn’t allow it.

You walked back to Gabe when you were ready, not wanting to leave him but having no other choice.

“Gabriel? Can you hear me?” his eyes were open but he didn’t move. You sighed deeply.

You’d hoped by now that he would have shown some improvement. Cas was healing him when he could and his own grace was building but he was still like a zombie. You fight back the tears and force the lump in your throat away.

“I have to go on a hunt, I wont be gone long. Just a vamp nest a few towns over, but the boys are out of state so it’s just me to handle it” you kneeled next to his bed in his eye line.

“Cas will be here with you. I’ll be back as soon as I can ok?” you smiled at him but his eyes looked straight through you. you sighed in defeat and stood to face his brother.

“I won’t be long”

“Please take care Y/n, I will watch over him” you nodded and squeezed your friends arm as you left the room, grabbing you bag and heading out on your first hunt in months.


	5. The End

##  **Not A Day Goes By - Part 5 - The End**

**Warnings:**  none that I can think of

## Sorry this has taken so long guys, I haven’t been to well.  
This is it :) the final part :) I hope you like it :D 

* * *

You limped back to the car and dropped into it heavily.

“Son of a bitch!” you grimaced as pain rushed through your body.

You should have listened to Cas, you were badly out of practice and it almost cost you your life. Months of taking care of Gabe, being constantly at his side had taken its toll. Your body was tired, your reaction time had depleted and the second Sam and Dean found out they were going to kick your ass for it.

Your drove as quickly as you could, which turned out to be extremely slow by your standards. You felt yourself let out a sigh of relief when the bunker finally came into view.

“Home sweet home!” you groan pulling on the hand break

Your growl and pull yourself out of the car, leaving your bag in the back for later. You hobbled through the hallways towards the room where Gabriel would be

“Cas?” you call as you approach the room.

He appears at he doorway and frowns at you

“You’re hurt” he states, you chuckle to yourself. Here you were limping heavily, you were holding your ribs and you knew by the tight feeling in your head that there was a pretty substantial cut there.

“Cas, never change” you mumble talking about his ability to state the obvious, he frowns and tilts his head in confusion. You shake your head dismissing your statement.

“What happened?” he asks following you into Gabriel’s room

“Well turns out you were right Cas, I’m out of shape. A few vamps threw me around like a rag doll. But they’re a pile of ashes now” you grimace lowering yourself into your usual seat.

“How is he?” you ask, noting he had turned over in his bed, his back now facing the chair you sat in.

“Much of the same, he’s almost at full strength but otherwise there isn’t much change” Castiel answered dejectedly

“Mental trauma doesn’t heal as quickly as physical wounds Cas, we can’t even begin to understand what happened to him in that place” you gasped when you caught your ribs on the arm of your chair. Unbeknownst to you this caused Gabriel’s eyes to snap open.

“Let me heal you” Cas offered raising his hand towards you, you duck away and lower his arm

“No Cas, you’re tired and you need to save your strength. I’ve been in a worse state than this trust me” you smiled tightly, knowing if you didn’t let his help you in some way he’d never let it go.

“But you could get me some of the pain killers in the first aid kit in the kitchen cabinet above the sink”

Cas nodded and left the room without another word. You pushed yourself out of the chair and shuffled slowly towards the little bathroom in Gabe’s room. You flicked on the light and took in your appearance.

You looked as if you’d gone ten rounds with Rocky Balboa. Your left eye was already bruising, the cut from your head had trickled blood down your face, your lip was split and you were certain you had at least one broken rib.

You grabbed the wash cloth and wet it lightly under the tap and tried to clean the dried blood from your face. You never heard the creak of the bed or the footsteps behind you, it wasn’t until you saw him standing at the doorway. You gasped and grabbed your ribs when the sight made you jump in shock.

You span around and took in the sight before you, he stood tall without leaning on anything for support. He looked truly awake for the first time in weeks, since the night he was first brought to the bunker.

“Gabriel?” you asked breathlessly, he hadn’t responded to you since that first night, he’d been so lost in his own mind you feared he’d never escape.

He looked down at you his eyes searching your face, settling on each of injuries.

“I’m ok, just a bit battered and bruised” you tried to laugh but your ribs stopped you. he noticed that too.

He stepped towards you and raised his hand, gently pushing a few stray strands behind your ear. You closed your eyes in bliss at the feeling of his skin on yours, when he was the one initiating it.

Your opened your eyes just in time to see his golden eyes begin to glow, before you could ask or even wonder why you felt the warmth spread through you.

It ran from his fingers that rested gently against your cheek down through you body. You felt as light as a feather and for the first time in hours you could take a deep breath. His hand fell from your cheek and coldness flowed through you at the loss.

He look over your face once again inspecting his work, before turning and walking away. You stood there in shock

“Brother?” you heard Cas call from the bedroom but he too got no reply. Cas rushed over to the bathroom, suddenly unsure of what he would find in there. You stood in shock, tears filled your eyes as you looked at the blue eyed angel.

“He healed me….” You whispered

You walked towards Cas glancing back into the bedroom, he was back on the bed; lying there as if he never even moved. You frowned at Castiel unsure of what had happened.

Was he remembering again? Was he really beginning to heal? or was it simply instinct?

No you couldn’t accept that, you needed him to remember, to know you. You walked over to him, for once in all these week not hiding you tears. His eyes were open but once again he looked through you. you dropped to your knees before him.

“I need you to look at me Gabe, please. I need to know you’re in there somewhere. I don’t want to rush you, I cant even begin to understand what you went through. But you cant just get up out of nowhere and heal me then come back here like it never happened” you let the tears flow, weeks of being sleep deprived, of heartache knowing you couldn’t help him; all built up to this moment.

“I just need you to give me something. I will sit here with you from now to the end of my days if that’s what you need Gabriel but I need you to show me you know I’m here, that you know it’s me. That you know me again.”  

You got no response; you dropped your head against the side of the bed your hand gripping onto the bed covers as you sobbed your heart out.

Your hear him shift on the bed above you, you imagine him turning over away from your pathetic crying. You try to calm yourself but the thought of him turning away from you breaks your heart even further.

You feel something touch your hand and your slowly raise your head. Its him, his hand. He reached out and cover your small hand with his own. You look up at his face to see him watching you, his own eyes brimmed with tears. He pulls at your hand causing you to stand from your crouched position, but he doesn’t stop. He pulls you onto the bed, forcing you to lie beside him before he engulfs you in his arms; pulling you tightly to his chest.

You find yourself unable to hold back your tears once more, the feeling of his arms around you too much to take. You stay there for what feels like the longest time, you know he’s crying with you; you feel his tears fall against your head but you couldn’t care less.

You feel him take a deep breath and your first instinct is to pull away, that your rushing him. But his arms tighten around you.

“Don’t cry sugar”

His voice was rough and course, months maybe years of not talking taking its toll. But it’s the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard. You feel tears fall from your eyes once again but this time tears of joy and relief.

“I’m here, just stay with me. Don’t leave me, I’m sorry” you shook your head against his chest, gripping his plain tshirt in your hands to emphasise your point. You knew what he was apologising for, that night he had his nightmare. But you’d never blamed him, he only blamed himself.

“You have nothing to be sorry for Gabe, I’ll never leave you”  you promise pushing your head further into his chest.

“I love you” you hear him whisper as you begin to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

“Love you more” you murmur

“Not possible sugar”

##  **The End!**


End file.
